What is the definition of "making love"?
Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
A midget whips out his two-foot dick.
The whore he's with says, "Oh, no, you ain't putting that thing in me. I'll kiss it."
"Fuck you" he tells her. "I can do that myself."
Why are men like cars?
Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is coming.
I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."
"I do"
And that's when the fight started...
