What does a virgin and a balloon have in common?
One prick and it's all over.
A guy is having dinner with his girlfriend at a restaurant when he suddenly gets down on one knee.
His surprised girlfriend begins to say: "This is so sudden..." When the guy interrupts: "Shhh... my wife just walked in!"
What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates?
A tearjerker.
My wife asked me: "Why do you go out on the balcony every time I start to sing?"
I told her: "I don't want the neighbors to think I'm beating you."
And that's when the fight started...
