Why is sex like Microsoft Windows?
For everyone who pays for it, there are hundreds getting it free.
A drunk walking home one night staggers into a tree. He backs up, takes a step, and runs into the tree again.
Two more times he bumps into the tree, then curses: "Great. I shoulda been home 2 hours ago, and here I am lost in the damn forest."
A wife went to see a therapist. "I've got a big problem. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely normal. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"
What do you have with two balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.