How is a Jewish woman like a Thanksgiving turkey?
Her husband only gets to stuff her once a year.
My wife was on the rag and really acting like a pain in the ass. So I figured I throw some gas on the fire and told her: "I figured out why they call it PMS... Mad Cow Disease was already taken!"
And that's when the fight started...
Why do brides wear white?
The dishwasher should match the refrigerator and the stove.
Why does a bride smile as she walks down the aisle?
Because she knows she's given her last blowjob.
