Why do brides wear white?
The dishwasher should match the refrigerator and the stove.
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
My wife was about to start her morning nag when I shot out: "You know our marriage is like a three-ring circus..."
And before she could comment I told her why: "First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering!"
And that's when the fight started...
Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids?
Because every time Mrs. Smokey gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
