My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second and third.
What sexual position should a woman use to make an ugly kid?
Ask your Mom.
The receptionist calls the doctor into the waiting room in a panic: "Doctor, the patient you just treated died on his way out the door. What should I do?"
The doctor says, "Turn him around so it looks like he died on the way in."
What do pimps and farmers have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.