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Don't Blame Me

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My wife was in labor with our first kid and she's cursing and screaming at me the whole time.

I told her: "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.'"

And that's when the fight started...

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Want A Spanking?

My wife and I were discussing babies and she had a thought. "Why do doctors spank newborn babies?"

I told her: "To knock the dicks off the stupid ones."

And that's when the fight started...

Late But On Time

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"

"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

And that's when the fight started...

A Woman's Place

My wife and I were having our usual debate over which of two sexes... male or female... who's superior.

So I asked her: "Do you know the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?" She said, "What?"

I told her: "One's a superhero and the other is an instruction."

And that's when the fight started...