In college I wanted to join the debating team.
But somebody talked me out of it.
What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
When I was 14, all I wanted was a girlfriend.
When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. What I really wanted was a girl with a zest for life.
When I was 19, I found a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. So I looked for a girl with some stability.
When I was 25, I found a stable girl, but she was too boring. What i needed was a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but she lacked direction and was too petty. I thought I'd be better off with a girl with some ambition.
When I was 31, I found an ambitious girl. Yeah... she was so ambitious that she married me, divorced me, and took everything I owned.
Now I am 40, and all I want is a girl with big tits!
A man calls the doctor and is frantic, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asks.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
