A married couple is remodeling their home and getting new doors so the husband asks his wife to go get hinges. She goes to the hardware store, picks out the hinges, and pays for them. As she is leaving the clerk realizes that she didn't get a screw for the hinge and says "Hey! Do you want a screw for that hinge?"
She looks at him and says "No..,. but I'll blow you for a microwave"
A cop was patrolling the local lover's lane when he drove by a car with a couple inside and the dome light on. It appeared that the young man in the driver’s seat was reading a computer magazine and the young lady was in the back seat knitting. Stopping to investigate the cop knocked on driver’s window. The young man rolled the window down and said, "Yes officer?"
"What are you doing?" the cop asks. "What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I’m reading a magazine."
Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?" The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like?, She's knitting."
"How old are you?" the officer asked the young man. "I’m nineteen." he replied. "And how old is she?" asked the officer.
The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she’ll be eighteen."