I quit my job at the helium gas factory.
I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
A guy's in his car with a girl and says, "How about a hand job?"
She says, "What do I have to do?"
He says, "Remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it? Just do that."
She grabs it and does it. A few minutes later, he starts screaming. She says, "What's wrong?"
He says, "Take your fucking thumb off the end."
This is going to be the 1st Valentine's Day I was single in almost 10 years. I'm kind of excited...
I just hope the wife feels the same way when she finds out.
I love an adventure & a challenge. So I joined a nudist colony.
1st day was the hardest, but I stuck it out.
