You know why every woman doesn't go to heaven?
If they all went, it would be hell.
What would you call a guy who jerks off during an earthquake?
Focused.
Dwarf to doctor: You're pretty busy. You treat dwarfs?
Doc: Yeah but you'll have to be a little patient.
A Chinese guy calls his boss and says: "Me sick... Can`t come to work today." The Boss says: "No problem. When I'm sick, I fuck my wife... try that!"
Two hours later the Chinese guy rings back and says: "Me better now... you got a nice house!"
