Those Red Heads

: Created: 14 December 2015; Hits: 2576

Cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy what do you get?

A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

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Don't Blow It ... Or Maybe You Should?

Did you hear about the girl who had three chances to get pregnant?

Blew 'em all.

Change Your Focus

Farmer Brown has a group over to play poker. But little Johnny keeps running around the table, yelling out what cards everybody has. No matter what the farmer orders his kid to do, he keeps coming back and wrecking the game. Finally,one of the players says, "This ain't working. Let's get outta here."

Reverend Grayson says, "Hold on a minute," and leads little Johnny out of the room. A few minutes later he returns and then nothing... they never see the kid again. Farmer Brown asks, "Rev, what the heck'd you do to little Johnny?"

The Reverend answers, "I showed him how to jerk off."

The Danger of Leaving Town

Guy tells his brother, "I have to go to out of town for a couple of weeks. I need to leave my cat with you. Please take real good care of her." His brother says, "Relax. I got this."

A few days later, he calls his brother and asks, "So, how's my cat?" His brother tells him, "The cat's dead."

"Geeeez" says the guy, "Why'd you have to be so blunt? Couldn't you have broken it to me a little more gently? Like, you could have told me the cat was on the roof, and you had to call the Fire Department. But just before they got there, she slipped and fell to the ground. So you scooped her up and rushed her to the vet. But there was nothing he could do to save her. Something like that would have been much more sensitive." His brother says, "Whatever."

So then the guy asks, "How's Mom?"

His brother thinks for a moment then says, "Uh... Mom's on the roof ..."