Single And Ready To Mingle

This is going to be the 1st Valentine's Day I was single in almost 10 years. I'm kind of excited...

I just hope the wife feels the same way when she finds out.

What's the best thing about duct tape?

It turns, "No! No!," into "Mmm! Mmm!"

What's the difference between love and herpes?

Love doesn't last forever.

Gallery owner: "Guy came in bought all your paintings."

Artist: "Great."

"Not really, he was your doctor."