Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!
My wife called me on Valentines Day and said, "Three of the girls here in the office have just received some flowers for Valentine's Day. They are absolutely gorgeous."
I said, "That's probably why they received flowers."
And that's when the fight started...
What do you call a judge with no balls?
Justice Prick
"Mom I tied the knot."
"Great. Now kick out the chair he's standing on & you're finally rid of the jerk."