Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!
My wife and I were talking about what turns men and women on. I asked her: "Why do you think men like big tits and a tight ass?"
She said: "In your case because you’ve got a big mouth and a small dick."
And that's when the fight started...
How can you tell if a chick is too fat to screw?
You pull her pants down and her ass is still in 'em.
Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?
They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.