Why'd my wife cross the road?To get back to the shoe store we were in three fucking hours ago.
What do you call a 14-year old girl from W. Virginia who can run faster than her 4 older brothers?
A virgin.
The other night my wife and I were in bed and I asked her: "Honey, why do you like it so much when you are on top?"
She said: "'Cause all you do is fuck up."
And that's when the fight started...
Three women were talking about what's it like in bed with their husbands.
The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and sophisticated."
The second said, "Mine is like a Porsche; fast and powerful."
The third said, "Mine is like an antique Chevy. I have to start it by hand and then jump on once it gets going."
