A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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That's Her Opinion

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Honeymoon morning after. Wife: "You're a lousy lover."

Husband: "How can you tell after only 30 seconds?"

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Men are Dogs, Not Vice Versa

Why does a dog lick himself?

He can't make a fist.

Bodily Fluids

Why do you get paid more at The Sperm Bank than at The Blood Bank?

Sperm is handmade.

What's The Scoop

I came home last night with a half gallon of rocky road and asked my wife: "Want some ice cream?" So she responded: "How hard is it?" I told her with a wink: "As hard as my dick!"

She said: "Great, pour me some."

And that's when the fight started...