If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove.
Your lawyer will thank you.
Wife asks her spouse: "What are you doing?" Her husband says: "Nothing." So she presses him: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for the last hour."
He tells her: "Well... yeah... I was looking for the expiration date."
And that's when the fight started...
If nuts on a wall are walnuts and nuts on a chest are chestnuts, what are nuts on a chin?
A blowjob.
What's the difference between the lesbians in porn films and a lesbian in real life?
About 65 pounds.
