If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove.
Your lawyer will thank you.
An accordion player and a banjo player are hired to play together on New Year's Eve.
At the end of the party, the guy who hired them says, "You guys were great. You want to play for me again next New Year's Eve?"
The banjo player says, "Sure. Can we leave our stuff?"
Broke hooker to girlfriend while walking the streets together: "Lend me 10 bucks till I'm on my back again"
What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
