If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove.
Your lawyer will thank you.
Did you hear about the two guys in Minnesota who froze to death in their car at the drive-in theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Season."
I come home from work to find my wife in tears sobbing her mom passed away. She asks: "What should we do -- cremate her or bury her?"
I tell her: "Don't take any chances. Do both."
And that's when the fight started...
Why do men name their dicks?
They don't want ninety-five per cent of their decisions made by a total stranger.
