If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove.
Your lawyer will thank you.
My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.
I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."
And that's when the fight started...
What is the difference between a New York City taxi and an elephant?
The elephant has the trunk in the front and the asshole in the back.
You ever been by a place and thought "Man, if I went in there, I know I'd get laid." I get that feeling all the time - I live near a prison.
