Any man who thinks baseball is our national pastime never played doctor when he was a kid!
Old Dick is no dope. Here's a piece of advice you should always follow: Whenever you have a one night stand, always use protection -- a fake name and a fake number.
My wife asked me to get her a watch for her birthday.
I told her, "What for...there's a clock on the stove!"
And that's when the fight started...
Two women are stuck on one side of the boulevard as a parade passes through... complete with floats, a marching band, and hot air balloons.
One gal asks the other: "What's this all about?" Her friend tells her: "It's the gay pride parade."
The first gal replies: "Yeah. Well I suck dick and take it up the ass. Where's my fuckin' parade?"
