Every Frickin' Joke
The Time Is Now
- Category: And that's when the fight started...
- Hits: 2671
Wife: "Will you love me when I'm old and fat?"
Husband: "I do."
And that's when the fight started...
Maybe Just One More
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 2526
A guy was walking around the office Christmas party belting down drink after drink. Each time he took a shot he reached into his shirt pocket, pulled something out, took a look, then stuck it back in his pocket. Finally, a friend walks up to him and asks: "Hey man. I've been watching you all night. What do you keep checking in your pocket?"
"That's a picture of my wife."
"So why do you keep looking at it?"
"Because," he replied: "When she finally starts looking good, then it's time to go home."
Wife's Lament
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 2823
One Friday afternoon two women are sitting on the front porch. The first woman says, "Here comes my husband with a bunch of flowers. That means I'll be on my back with my legs in the air all weekend."
The other woman asks, "Why, don't you have a vase?"
I Like Dad's Explanation Better
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 3241
A kid comes home from school and tells his mom, "I've got a problem.at school. Little Johnny keeps using two words I don't understand - pussy and bitch".
Mom says "Oh, that's no big deal. Pussy is a little cat like our Fluffy, and bitch is a female dog, like our Queenie."
He says thanks, but decides he better check with his dad. He heads to the workshop in the basement where he tells his dad, "Little Johnny at school is using words I don't know. I asked mom but I don't think she told me the real meaning."
Dad says "Son, I told you never to go to your mom with stuff like that. She just doesn't get it. What are the words?" The boy tells him. "Pussy and bitch."
Dad thinks for a minute and says "OK" let me show you. He pulls out an old Playboy magazine from the bottom drawer, grabs a marking pen and opens to the centerfold. Then he circles the pubic area, points and says, "Son, everything inside that circle is pussy."
"OK dad, so then what's a bitch?"
"That's everything outside the circle."
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