Count On This Happening

Little Johnny came home and told his mom he got kicked out of mathematics class. His mom asked "What happened."

Little Johnny told her: "The teacher asked me, 'What comes after 69?' Apparently 'mouthwash' was the wrong answer!"

What's the difference between medium and rare?

6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

The bell rings at a whorehouse.

The madam answers the door and finds a guy with no arms and no legs. She looks at him and says: "What'ya think you're gonna do in here?"

He says: "Hey... I rang the bell, didn't I?"

20 years the wife finally gives him a blowjob.

Phone rings he picks it up says: It's for you, cocksucker.