Go Both Ways

Old Dick is ambidextrous. Yep! I can swing a bat from both sides of the plate, & jerk off with both hands.

What do you call a teenager who doesn't masturbate?

A liar.

Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband: "So, how do I look?"

"Well, at least you tried..."

And that's when the fight started...

My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.

When I came back she asked what did I get. I told her I got drunk.

And that's when the fight started...