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Go Both Ways

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Old Dick is ambidextrous. Yep! I can swing a bat from both sides of the plate, & jerk off with both hands.

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Pillow Fight

What does it mean when your wife is lying in bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Where Not To Save Money

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip-off!

Against The Code Of Ethics

A woman is in her doctor's office, when she suddenly shouts out, "Doctor, kiss me". The Doctor looks at her and says that it would be against his code of ethics to kiss her.

About 20 minutes later the woman again shouts out "Doctor, please, kiss me just once". Again he refuses, apologetically, but says that as a doctor he simply cannot kiss her.

Finally another 15 minutes pass, and the woman pleads with the doctor, "Doctor, Doctor, please kiss me just once!!"

"Look" he says, "I'm sorry. I just CANNOT kiss you. In fact, I probably shouldn't even be screwing you either."