Mindi and Sylvia go to the zoo. A gorilla breaks out of his cage, grabs Sylvia, throws her down, rips off all her clothes, and fucks her. The zookeeper pulls the gorilla off, and takes poor Sylvia to the hospital.
A few days later, Mindi goes to visit her. She says, "So how you are feeling, Sylvia?"
Sylvia says, "So how should I feel? He doesn't call, he doesn't write..."
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you’re the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he had ever been unfaithful to his wife and he says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I’m your son’s teacher."