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Does Your Job Suck?

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What's the difference between your job and a whore who dropped dead?

Tomorrow your job will still suck!

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More Than One Way To Please

The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."

The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"

Pray For Me

Willie goes to a revival meeting for some much needed prayer. The preacher says, "Whoever needs to be healed-UH... come for-ward-UH... come to the al-tar-UH... ask for the heal-ing-UH..." Willie gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher says, "All right my son, what do you need me to pray for?" Willie says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."

The preacher puts one hand over Willie's ear, puts the other hand on top of Willie's head, and prays and prays and prays. After a few minutes, the preacher takes his hands away, stands back, and says, "Son, how is your hearing now?"

Willie says, "I don't know preacher. My hearing ain't 'til next Wednesday."

Timing Is Everything

A cop was patrolling the local lover's lane when he drove by a car with a couple inside and the dome light on. It appeared that the young man in the driver’s seat was reading a computer magazine and the young lady was in the back seat knitting. Stopping to investigate the cop knocked on driver’s window. The young man rolled the window down and said, "Yes officer?"

"What are you doing?" the cop asks. "What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I’m reading a magazine."

Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?" The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like?, She's knitting."

"How old are you?" the officer asked the young man. "I’m nineteen." he replied. "And how old is she?" asked the officer.

The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she’ll be eighteen."