My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do.
Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
A priest gets a flat tire fixed.
As the car's coming down on the lift, the priest says to the mechanic, "Are the lug nuts tight?"
The mechanic says, "Tight as a nun's cunt."
The priest says, "You better give them another turn."
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, if nothing else, you've got to hand it to her.
What do a gynecologist & a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can smell it, but they can't eat it.
