My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do.
Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
As soon as you see it coming you know someone is going to lose a trailer.
Polar bear walks into a bar, asks for a gin........and tonic. Bartender asks: "Why the long pause?"
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
(With thanks to the great Henny Youngman.)
