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Best Type Of Birth Control

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What's a birth control pill?

That's the other thing a girl can put in her mouth to keep from getting pregnant.

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New Husband?

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

All Alone On Thanksgiving

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.

“Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.

“Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.

“I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”

Big Ben

Why were the two whores travelling in London pissed off?

Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock!