What would you call a hooker with jizz all over her face?
Call her a cab ... her job is done.
What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates?
A tearjerker.
One night I came home a little late and very drunk. There was my wife standing there holding a broom
Thinking fast (maybe too fast) I said: "Are you still cleaning or are you going for a ride?"
And that's when the fight started...
A drunk wakes up in a cemetery in a freshly-dug grave. He thinks: If I'm alive, why's there a tombstone? If I'm dead, why do I have to piss?
