Who I'm Voting For

: Created: 20 October 2016; Hits: 2493

Many people have been asking who I'm voting for in the next election. My answer:

"To tell you the truth, I'm never voting again...Because voting is like marriage, no matter who you choose, it turns out bad."

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Right Idea Wrong Place

You ever been by a place and thought "Man, if I went in there, I know I'd get laid." I get that feeling all the time - I live near a prison.

Not the Same Old Routine

My wife wanted to be a little playful, so she whispered: "Say dirty things to me!"

So I said: "Bathroom, kitchen, living room..."

And that's when the fight started...

Depends on Which End You Are On

A little girl asked her mom: "When you and daddy have sex, who enjoys it more?"

Her mother thought for a moment and replied: "Sweetie, you know when you have an itch in your ear and you stick your finger in and wiggle it around to make it go away? Think about it... which feels better, your finger or your ear?"