It's So Cute...

A blonde goes to the gynecologist, and he examines her.

He says, "You have acute vaginitis."

She says, "Thank you..."

Three guys are sitting in a bar bitching about how stupid their wives are.

The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and we don't even have a garage."

The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to her iPod and she doesn't have any earphones for it."

The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a dick."

What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?

The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.

"Forgive me, Father, I was fucking my wife and fantasized she was a nun."

"My son, sometimes when I fuck a nun I fantasize it's your wife."