A blonde goes to the gynecologist, and he examines her.
He says, "You have acute vaginitis."
She says, "Thank you..."
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves!
Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.
A car salesman sits down at a bar next to a hooker.
He orders a drink and says: "If I don't sell some cars I'm going to lose my ass."
The hooker looks at him and says: "Yeah... well if I don't sell some ass I'm gonna lose my car."
What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard?
Shoot him again.