Let's Pretend

Sally: "Let's play house."

Little Johnny: "What do I do?"

Sally: "Communicate your feelings."

Johnny: "How do I do that?"

Sally: "Perfect. You can be the husband!"

My wife and I were talking about what turns men and women on. I asked her: "Why do you think men like big tits and a tight ass?"

She said: "In your case because you’ve got a big mouth and a small dick."

And that's when the fight started...

Old Dick is ambidextrous. Yep! I can swing a bat from both sides of the plate, & jerk off with both hands.

What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.