Dr. Dave slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while, he'd hear an internal voice that said, "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Let it go."
But invariably, the another voice would bring him back to reality. "But Dave, you're a vet."
A couple went to a sex therapist to try and improve their sex live. After hearing the couple's complaints, the therapist suggested they experiment a little more. "For example," he suggested, "You might try different positions, like the wheelbarrow. You lift her legs, penetrate, and off you go."
The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home.
"Well, OK," the hesitant wife agreed, "But on two conditions. First if it hurts, you'll stop right away, and second," she insisted, "You must promise we won't go past my mother's."
A married couple is remodeling their home and getting new doors so the husband asks his wife to go get hinges. She goes to the hardware store, picks out the hinges, and pays for them. As she is leaving the clerk realizes that she didn't get a screw for the hinge and says "Hey! Do you want a screw for that hinge?"
She looks at him and says "No..,. but I'll blow you for a microwave"