DJ of the Day

You Don't Stand A Chance

My wife was on the rag and I just couldn't take any more of her bitchin'. So I asked: "What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?"

Then before she could answer I told her: "You can negotiate with a terrorist."

And that's when the fight started...

Another Dick Joke!

One of Life's Lessons

Before you have sex you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress by yourself.

The moral: In life, no one helps you once you're fucked.

More Just Plain Funny!

Can Lawyers Swim?

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean.

A good start.

After many years of marriage a husband up and tells his wife he wished she had bigger breasts. "How am I supposed to get bigger breasts?" she asks. "That’s simple." he says, "Just rub them with toilet paper every day." "What the hell is that supposed to do?" his wife shot back.

"Well," answered her husband, "It worked for your ass!"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Man Of The Year

A man steps into the street and manages to grab a taxi just going by. He gets in, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

The passenger asks, "Who?" The cabbie says, "Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along just when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every time."

Passenger: "Yeah. But there's always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie says, "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam in tennis. He could golf with the pros. And music? He sang like an opera baritone, danced like a Broadway star, and you should've heard him play the piano."

The passenger replies, "Sounds like he was really someone special."

Cab driver continues, "There's more... He had a mind like a computer. He could remember everybody's birthday, knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out."

Passenger: "Wow, some incredible guy"

The cabbie goes on, "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic to avoid traffic jams. Not like me... I always seem to get stuck in them all the time."

Passenger: "Mmm, there's not many like him around."

Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman, how to really make her feel good. He'd never answer her back even if she was in the wrong. And his clothing was always immaculate, down to his highly polished shoes."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank."

Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?"

Cabbie: "I married his fucking widow..."

I Wanna Register To Attend

Can't wait to go to the convention for women with no legs. I heard the place was crawling with pussy!

A Natural Reaction

A wife went to see a therapist. "I've got a big problem. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes he lets out this ear splitting yell."

"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely normal. I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"

Dick's Joke of the Day