A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Stir Fry And Panties

How's a frying pan hanging on the wall like a woman's panties?

You have to get them down before you can put the meat in.

Should Have Become A Gynecologist

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?

A wet nose.

Weight Watchers

My wife's losing weight now thanks to a weight loss club. She goes near the fridge, I hit her with the club.

Tough Times Call For One Thing...

My wife was concerned that we weren't managing the household well in tough financial times. So she asked me to take some action and plan for the future.

No problem I told her. I ran out and came home with 2 cases of beer instead of one.

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Time For A Quickie

A man walks into the kitchen and finds his wife boiling eggs. She looks at him passionately, lays on the counter, and says, "Make love to me Randy!"

Not wanting to lose the chance he embraces her quickly and they make passionate love.

When they are finished he asks her, "What was that about?"

She replies, "The egg timer was broken."

Is That Your Elbow, Or Are You Happy To See Me?

After checking in to a hotel, a man is gets into the elevator and accidentally rubs his elbow against a woman's breasts. He tells her, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, come to room 624."

Don't Drink And Drive

Dick's Advice: Best way to avoid an alcohol-related accident? Get so fucked up you can't find your car.