A Lot On The Side
How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?
You start asking your wife for sex.
How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?
You start asking your wife for sex.
Tragically Mickey and Minnie Mouse found themselves in divorce court.
The judge asked Mickey: "Mr. Mouse, are you telling this court that you wish to divorce your wife simply because you think she's crazy?"
Mickey replied: "I never said she was crazy... I said she was fuckin' Goofy!"
Old guy calls a plumber. "There's a leak over my kitchen table."
The plumber asks him "When did you first notice it?"
"After it took me two hours to finish my soup last night."
A farmer bursts into the bedroom with his wife in bed and a sheep under his arm. He yells, "This is the pig I fuck when you have a headache!" The wife looks up and says, "That's not pig dumbass, it's a sheep!"
The farmer looks over and shouts: "Quiet! I wasn't talking to you!"
And that's when the fight started...