A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

On One Condition

A match asks if he can get into a dance club. The Bouncer says: "You can go in. Just don't start anything."

He Takes The Crown

Who's the world's greatest athlete?

The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

Creative Writing Class

College professor to her creative writing class, "Your assignment - write the shortest story you can that includes religion, sex and mystery."

Only one girl got an A on her paper. She wrote: "Good God, I'm pregnant ... I wonder who did it?"

What Turns You On?

My wife and I were talking about what turns men and women on. I asked her: "Why do you think men like big tits and a tight ass?"

She said: "In your case because you’ve got a big mouth and a small dick."

And that's when the fight started...

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Researchers Have Discovered

Researchers have determined that 99% of all men jerk off in the shower and the other 1% sing.

Do you know what they sing?

I didn't think you did.

No Question About How Smart

What's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth?

Einstein's dick.

Wasn't The Sex Ed Class I Had

Here we are in Sex Education Class. The teacher says, "All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for having sex."

The next day she calls on Little Johnny in the back, "Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?" Little Johnny says, "Seventy-three."

The teacher says, "Oh, my goodness...uh...very good, John, very good..."

Next she calls on Becky in the front and says, "All right, Becky, how about you?" Becky says, "Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy just lays on top of the girl."

From the back Little Johnny yells out, "Seventy-four."