A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

The House Dictates the Policy

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

Correct Dosage

Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?

They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.

Reason To Stay Single

The laundromat: a bad place to find chicks.

If she can't afford a washing machine how can she support you?

Take Out The Trash

One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.

I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

How Long Has That Condom Been In Your Wallet?

What do a wife & a condom have in common?

They both spend wayyy more time in your wallet than on your dick.

It's A Dirty Job

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?

A Mechanic.

Better Than Lifting Weights

My wife and I love to work out. This morning at the gym we had a discussion. She asked me: "What do you think is the most active muscle in a woman?"

I told her: "My dick."

And that's when the fight started...