Bring Out The Tape Measure
Why are dicks like fish?
You throw the small ones back, you keep the medium ones and you mount the big ones.
Why are dicks like fish?
You throw the small ones back, you keep the medium ones and you mount the big ones.
Cop: "Are you a natural blonde?" Blonde: "Yeah."
Tosses his ticket book, starts pulling down his zipper
Blonde: "Oh, no, not another Breathalyzer test."
You know what happens when you stop believing in Santa Claus?
You start getting clothes for Christmas.
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a Torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my idiot husband Is out fishing in that?"
And that's when the fight started...